do german snakes go ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß
I will always reblog this whenever it appears in my dashboard.
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
Did he just make a feminist period joke?
Armand teaches Albert how to spread jelly on his toast like a straight man.
i hate hearing girls complain about “that time of the month”. yeah it might be painful and yeah you get some weird cravings but you get to be a fucking werewolf until the full moon goes down.
i have been informed that apparently this is not what “that time of the month” is.